I have always been willing to share our struggles, our trials, our triumphs and our dreams with anyone who asks. My husband has more discernment and shuts me down when needed, because unfortunately there are people who will use any information against you. I forget that. I trust people too much. I see the good in people when there isn’t necessarily any good intentions involved.
Regardless of all of this, I know that there is a need out there: A need to hear the truth, from a different perspective – an adoptive parent’s perspective. I’ve always prodded and begged foster and adoptive parents to speak up, but their placements (children in their care) were at risk, their biological children were at risk and their reputations were at risk. I have always prodded and begged foster and adoptive case workers to speak up as well, but their jobs, livelihood, family and reputation were at risk. I do not blame these people for protecting themselves and those they love, but I also saw that the ones ultimately hurt by our silence were the children: the foster and adoptive children in question. This has been my dream – to be there for the ones who cannot speak for themselves and to change things for the better. It has been to my detriment, but I do not regret it.
My life is now an open book – a book that would be interesting to the curious, dramatic for the drama seekers, educational for the neighbors, doctors, professionals and critics of an adoptive family, and helpful to those who desire to or have already, adopted. I would love to see this book become part of a college curriculum for professionals in any human services career. I wish I had read it during my education and most certainly, before I adopted. My life is an open book – not only for the purposes of being a requirement of adoption (a complete dossier and homestudy), but to keep adoptions healthy.
Is your life an open book? How so? Why not? Are there fears preventing you? Have you been the mouthpiece for someone unable to advocate for themselves? If so, how has it worked out for you? If not, what has stopped you?