Homeschooling is a choice of many families for a variety of reasons, ranging from religious beliefs and morals to simply wanting what it best for their child’s needs. The Pandemic has created another reason to Homeschool. Some have been forced into what is being known as Crisis Schooling because the school systems have closed, the future is unknown, and many families are left scared – scared of the dangers that the Pandemic have to offer.
I have Homeschooled thirteen adopted children, not necessarily from Kindergarten to High School. Some of our children we adopted at older ages. Some of our children have gone to Public High School, some to Private High School, and some Homeschooled throughout High School. We have tried to do what was best for each of our children, given their individual needs, our options at the time, and our personal desires. I have Homeschooled for over twenty years and wanted to share what I have learned, for those, uncertain of what they will be choosing for their child.
To begin with, I have not Homeschooled the typical child, brought up in a two-parent family, in a stable home, except for our newborn, but even he, struggles with ADHD. My focus is homeschooling children from difficult situations.
#1 THEIR TRANSITION YEAR: The first year in your home is useless as far as learning and retaining new information. I would suggest keeping it light, fun, and playing a lot of therapeutic games such as the Talking, Feeling, Doing game or story cubes. I also love things like Mad Libs to learn grammar skills such as parts of speech. Sequential Spelling is simple and gives quick feedback. Reading books together, even if they are historical in nature such as the I Survived Series or more non-fictional such as a missionary series written by Janet and Geoff Benge, provides sitting closely, cuddling and answering questions as they arise from interested children. My most traumatized children would talk of horrendous things that they went through as youngsters, during grammar class. Perhaps it was low-key enough for them to open their minds and remember things that they normally would have suppressed. I do not know, but I think it was good for them and me, as well.
None of our children could read well. We had to start from the beginning with every child due to their past schooling situations but seeing the progress and watching them learn to enjoy reading made it all worthwhile. Pay attention to the small steps and do not be as concerned with the larger steps. They will come.
#2 CHANGE CURRICULUM AS NEEDED: Do not stick to a book or a way of doing things, just because you bought it. There are many opportunities to buy cheaper products and/or sell what you have bought. This is one of my biggest mistakes. I relied on my children to tell me the truth about what they thought of curriculum we were using, but they would not tell me when it was too difficult. Instead, they would find ways to cheat. Yes, they will cheat, even in a home setting. So, take cues and keep it lively and real.
#3 FIND RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO YOU: Outsource where you feel comfortable. Our homeschool resources have included co-ops, P.E. classes, ice skating lessons, live online classes, recorded online classes, retired Spanish teachers, YouTube videos, library programs, library books, and field trips such as museums, theaters, and symphonies. There are many different community resources that you can tap into to make it not only bearable, but lively.
#4 CHASE THE WIND: Do not be afraid to ‘chase the wind.’ When you are learning something new and it brings up questions – do not be afraid to stop what you are doing and research for the answer. If you feel compelled to continue what you are studying, write down the question for later or the following day. When a child is interested enough to ask questions, they are more likely to learn the material when it is presented to them. Finding answers, after all, is much of what you learn to do in college. I had to write a twenty-page paper my first year of college on a specific painting. After I got over the shock of the assignment, I got to work researching and enjoying what I learned. Much to my surprise, I was able to fill the twenty pages.
#5 DO YOUR BEST AND DO NOT SECOND GUESS: You will have plenty of time to doubt yourself and doubt that your child is learning and wonder if you are doing more harm than good. I would not bother with such thoughts. Undoubtedly, every January and May are the worst for these thoughts to creep in. There is no one on this face of the Earth, who loves your child and understands your child, as much as you. Join FB or local groups to help you solidify your commitment to your decision to homeschool. Research and learn curriculum available. Attend conferences. Enjoy watching your children grow and enjoy the moments they finally understand a concept you have been plugging away at. Homeschooling allows the student to learn at their own pace, so it is not uncommon for a child to be ahead of their grade/age level in one class and behind in another class. Relax and allow your student to learn, rather than being shoved facts to move onto the next grade.
#6 HOMESCHOOLING IS A LIFESTYLE: There is no real beginning or end to a homeschool day. For years, I began our school day at 9am and ended at 3pm. This works for many people. But the fact of the matter is, homeschooling does not really end. Making dinner, shopping for dinner, chores, caring for foster puppies, taking care of a pet, making paper airplanes, building a bird house, going to the local hardware store for paint supplies, a home project, a fun craft, making homemade playdough, baking cookies, learning a new recipe, measuring for new carpet, researching remote control cars,… you get the picture…all of these offer a variety of learning opportunities. Measuring, reading reviews, unit pricing, budgeting, recording inventory, employable skills, and/or planning. All of these are helpful for the child’s future. The first teacher in your child’s life was You. You taught them to say, “Mama, Dadda, yes, no, car, truck, pig, dog, bird….You taught them to walk, jump rope, ride a bike, play with playdough, and learn their shapes and animal noises.
#7 FACE THE TRAUMA: Often times, adopted children have missed a great deal of school in their past due to their dysfunctional homelife, missing many school days, frequent moves and/or trauma response. Trauma stops a person’s brain from being able to receive the information it is given. Trauma, if not dealt with appropriately, i.e. Neurofeedback or EMDR therapy (not traditional talk therapy), can prevent the child from learning to their potential. Deal with the gaps, keep it low-stress, and figure out where they need to begin. Take extra time to deal with their trauma. We would often read books or go through trauma workbooks together. Learning with diagrams and pictures and writing on a board or large paper is best for them to visualize what you are trying to teach. We called it TFTF, ‘Therapy for the Family’ and each child had their own notebook and wrote what was on the board. It kept them accountable and including all sorts of topics such as how to be a friend and who a safe person would be. They all enjoyed it and I kept them engaged by including them with role play and open-ended questions.
#8 UNDESIRABLE BEHAVIORS: Unfortunately, adoptive issues and trauma often comes with behaviors that we did not necessary plan for or had time for in our busy lives. I tried to battle each undesired moment as a learning opportunity. We can learn from our mistakes, what makes our child tick, what our child’s triggers are, and ways we can perhaps avoid the meltdowns and/or undesirable behaviors. Some of our children, due to their Reactive Attachment Disorder or other uncontrollable trauma response, struggle to learn from consequences, punishments, and/or their own mistakes. That brings me to #9.
#9 OUR OWN TRIGGERS: We learn more about ourselves than our child. Homeschooling brings out the best and the worst in all of us. We do not have the time away from one another. We begin to realize, not just what triggers our child, but also what triggers us. For example, my child was an expert at the ‘blank stare’ when asked a simple question or caught in a lie. It was their trauma response. Researching the Parenting from A-Z might be beneficial. It would not be good for the teacher to go ballistic when triggered, nor do we want that for ourselves. We all need to learn calming techniques, taking several deep breaths, taking time out to pray, stepping away, and addressing it at a later, calmer time. The child needs to learn that too. Gaming systems, such as the Mightier is costly, but is a fun way for children to learn calming skills. Make it a priority. You will all be happier for it. It is worth the extra time put into it.
#10 ENJOY EVERY AGE: When my first newborn was born and I went to the hospital with his birth mother, I decided at that point, to enjoy every age. Sometimes we forget, with each age and their eventual strive for independence, to enjoy them. I keep a book, “My Quotable Kid” and write down some of the funny things my kids say. Sometimes they feel few and far between as I can get so frustrated with them or just buried in our daily activities and tasks, but it is important to document those good times and those funny moments. We do not want to forget these fun moments together, and I often read them to my children as they grow up.
As an adoptive mother of thirteen children, eleven of which are of biracial, Hispanic, and African descent, I have seen Racism. Now, that is a bold statement as most of Racism is not a blatant verbal or physical display, of someone’s hatred of skin color or culture. It is woven into the fabric of our society in subtle ways that we often do not see unless we are, well, not white. When we grow up white, in a dominantly white society, we are often oblivious to Racism because it does not affect us and until now, it did not affect us. Now, we are being forced to look at the issue whether it is from rioters, protesters, or simple articles like these. It is in the news at the Doctor’s office, our gym, social media, and on the radio. We can not escape it, even if we refuse to look at it in our private homes and cars.
How have I seen Racism as a parent of non-white children.
People automatically stare. They can not help but stare, because I am white and some of my children are ‘obviously’ not mine. Interestingly, several of my children have white biological mothers and would have been brought up in a white home, had I not adopted them. Regardless, people forget how hurtful a simple ‘stare’ can be, especially without a smile associated with it.
Blatant Racism is probably the most hurtful, causing bitterness and anger to set into the soul. When my daughter worked in the grocery store near our home, in a diverse suburb of Phoenix, AZ, she began to bag the customers groceries as her job description requires. The woman instantly told her not to bag her groceries, because she would do it, adding that she did not want my daughter touching her groceries as she was ‘black.’ My daughter did not respond negatively to her. When her order was scanned and bagged by the cashier, my daughter then asked the woman if she would like help out to her car with her groceries. It was then that it really sunk in. The woman exclaimed it very clearly, that she wanted, “No help” from my daughter “because she was black.” This happened just last year, in 2019, and is just one example.
Round about Racism. My foster brother was attending an elementary school in a predominantly white rural area. My foster brother had a white mom but took after his African American father. A fellow student in the first grade called him the ‘N’ word. My little brother lashed out at the other boy in anger by pushing him. He was quickly and harshly disciplined by the principal, but the boy calling him names received no punishment.
More recently, my bi-racial son walked into a new church in an urban area, when he immediately felt uncomfortable. Two white men began to talk in whispered tones. He left, vowing he would not go to any church. (Thankfully, he did, and found a very welcoming church with people willing to really reach out to him and introduce him to a man who does not judge; Jesus.)
Subtle Racism is not often seen or recognized by those not looking for it or living it. My sixteen-year-old son is an athletic African soccer player for his high school and club. We have seen him get completely pulverized, blatantly tripped, and elbowed in the head several times in one game until he finally got hit in the right spot to give him a concussion. I understand soccer is a contact sport. I did not sign him up for ballet lessons, but what happens to him on the field is unethical and wrong. He rarely gets calls, meaning that when these fouls occur, they are ignored. Regardless of how twisted up his body gets or how hard he hits the ground, he is expected to withstand it. If he were a thin white kid, such a move would not be ignored, but would cause the other player to be kicked out of the game with a red card. He has extraordinary talent and it breaks my heart that he is rarely free to play the game he loves, rather it is turned into a wrestling match with arms twisted with his as he is running full speed or turned into a football game with no protective gear. My child’s offense is EWB – Excelling While Black. He is unstoppable on the field except when he is pulverized, tripped or elbowed illegally.
Man looking at camera with an inquisitive look.
Society needs to begin to recognize, care, and stand up to Racism and targeting. We are all the same race – the human race – with more similarities than differences. All lives matter, born and unborn, and we need to treat everyone as such. Society needs to stop targeting people based on their color, culture, and profession (ie police officers), and society starts with each and every individual.
Ask someone today how their color has affected how they have been treated. Ask for their story.
Easter is my favorite holiday. I love the meaning of Easter, what it represents, the chocolate, the Easter Egg hunts we attend as well as the Easter Egg hunts we have as a family, Easter sunrise service, free breakfast after the church service and the delicious family dinner.
Through the years, holidays have lost their excitement and meaning. Thankfully, I’ve learned some tips that have brought back that excitement.
Things I’ve learned after adopting traumatized children:
Lock up candy when not choosing something to eat from their basket. I’m not saying deprive them of eating their candy, but I found that one child would often steal everyone else’s and leave other children in your family feeling sad and angry. So for everyone’s well-being, lock up candy.
Replace candy and chocolates with a small gift, such as a kite, Lego set, or a book. Holidays have been materialized and candyized (and yes, that is now a word 😊). None of us, especially those sensitive to dyes and sugars, need a ton of candy for every holiday that comes along. Some candy/chocolate is fun, but beyond that, it’s simply not healthy.
Number gifts and hide them, rather than using labeled baskets. Wrap the gifts and keep a tally of how many were hidden around the house and what rooms were used to hide items. Announce how many gifts each person can find. At the end, when everything has been found, hand out the gifts to the proper recipients. This way, the seeker does not give away a hidden gift that does not have their name on it. None of the gifts have a name. I use numbers so that they don’t know who’s whose until I hand them out. Also, I have hidden things like uno cards and Pop tarts as family gifts, making the hidden items a larger number than just one each.
Keep things simple. Keep everything simple. Preparations for holidays can be more exhausting than the actual holiday. Find ways to keep preparations simpler. For example, I’ve learned to buy a dinner side at the grocery store. Don’t be afraid to have something on the table that wasn’t prepared by your hands. I have also made the menu much smaller. If everyone doesn’t get their favorite dessert, sometimes I’ll make their dessert a different day soon after Easter, but for Easter, I’ll only make a simpler assortment of desserts. A store-bought shrimp platter can offer a fun treat that you didn’t have to make. Decorations are fun but keep them at a minimum. Often, I found that I was the only one doing the work and it felt lonely and exhausting. My kids couldn’t help me. Their trauma gets in the way, whether they are remembering traumatic events from past holidays or feeling like you hate them or remembering their biological parents as if they are Saints, they may attempt to make your Easter preparations difficult. Put on music that set the mood for you and do not expect help. Expectations can surely disappoint.
These are just a few ways that I have made Easter not just more tolerable, but more fun for me, as well as those around me. When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Take care of yourself and learn to set limits. Enjoy your holidays and create new traditions for your family. They will look forward to these traditions even as they grow older. They also look forward to these traditions you set, when they are struggling with their traumas.
Our adopted children come across as strong, tough and durable, but like any child, inside they are fragile, inflexible and dependent on the adults in their lives. In many ways, adopted children are more fragile and dependent. In their hearts, they have jumbled emotions and walls that have been created by their trauma, experiences and loss. Many of them have learned to control those around them by manipulating and triangulating. Therefore, in uncertain, stressful times like the Covid-19 Coronavirus that take away their routine and control, their struggles can resurface.
Fears and Insecurity: Food stealing and hoarding, overeating, and behavioral issues
will most likely increase. Every adoptive parent handles this differently and
can get irritated by someone else’s thoughts on this. Many do not believe that
you should lock food up as these children already have food issues and it only
makes it worse. I haven’t found that. My children had these issues whether I
locked it up or left it out. But I did find that if I wanted to have any sanity
in my home, I needed to lock our food in pantries and freezers. There was
always food and drinks of all sorts available as well as three meals a day.
Health: Some adopted children already have underlying health risks. For example,
our son was three when we adopted him from a third world country. He was in the
orphanage because he almost died of an unknown Respiratory Infection. He doesn’t
struggle anymore with it, but it could become a factor if he contracted the Coronavirus.
Our other son has asthma symptoms when he gets allergies or a cold, so the Coronavirus
would be an obvious issue for him.
Adoptions: Several borders, businesses, organizations, face to face
meetings have been suspended for a certain amount of time. It wouldn’t be wise
to continue the adoption route right now.
Bonding: Time in the home setting can be a good thing and can create moments of
bonding such as playing therapeutic games, board games, charades, card games,
cooking together, baking, homeschooling, etc. but for some adopted children
with attachment issues such as RAD or DTD, it can become a conflicting time for
them because bonding is a threat to their mindset. It can be a battle zone. Therefore,
that forces some parents to be in a survival mode. Watch RAD videos I created
on my website if you’d like to learn more or share awareness. www.AngieKElliston.com
Lead: They will follow your lead. If you are stressed and dysregulated, they
will also be a mess emotionally and dysregulated. I believe in telling children
the truth. Remain in their wavelength and cognitive abilities when addressing
issues surrounding the Coronavirus. They may not need to know all the details,
but some details may help them understand it better. You know your child better
than anyone and can decipher what is too much and what they need to know.
ALL of these may be factors for the adoptive parent as well. These uncertain times have created fears
anxieties, and insecurities that we have never had to deal with before. Many of
us in stable, secure jobs are now watching our small amount of savings dwindle
to nothing as no income comes in. Many adoptive parents are already struggling
with their health and wellness, as children with trauma may make it extremely
difficult to stay in shape and even stay well. I urge you all to take precautions
against the Coronavirus, as well as take care of yourselves the best that you
can, including plenty of sleep, nutritious food and some type of workout. Sometimes
you need to be creative in finding ways to workout. I am teaching our foster
puppy to run along side the scooter so that someday she will be able to run
along side a bicycle. There are a variety of free workout programs on YouTube
including walking in place, running, yoga, stretching, Tae Bo and aerobics. Find
someone who inspires you and does a workout that you are able and willing to
do.
If you know a foster/adoptive parent, please check on them. Send them a
text, a note of encouragement, a call, or an email. Let them know that you read
a blog about their possible struggles and that you are thinking of them. Most
often, they already feel quite isolated and alone in their struggles and in
their feelings, but the circumstances around the Coronavirus has just made it
more real.
What to do: We can’t ‘fix’ our children’s issues in a two-month quarantine, but hopefully we can help them understand what’s going on and carry on in some sort of routine and safety.
Be sure you’re safe!
Pick your battles.
Stay Healthy.
Keep a routine.
Take deep breaths.
Don’t worry about their schooling. Do what you can, but don’t
fuss beyond that.
If you have therapeutic games such as the Talking, Doing,
Feeling game, it would be a great time to bring it out. Story cubes and story
cards are also great. It may be time to invest in a game or two. Several sites,
as well as Amazon offer them.
Adoption dissolutions and adoption disruptions are two terms
that are the result of a failed adoption. As in any type of division of the
family unit, it leaves behind broken hearts, a multitude of unanswered
questions and an array of emotions. The child might be placed with the social
services system, adopted by a new family or in some cases, even sent back to
their home country. It’s heart-breaking, but in most cases, it is preventable.
#1 Educate Yourself: Learn
as much as you can from as many people as you can. Going into an adoption with
your eyes wide open is a way to safeguard yourself, your family, and your
adoptive child. Watch movies and
documentaries, read books, magazines and articles, seek out classes on PTSD,
bonding and other hot topics of adoption, find support groups through
communities, churches and online. As you’ve taken in a wide variety of
information from different sources, keep the lines of communication open with
your spouse or significant other. You want to be on the same page, willing to
discuss difficult topics and to be setting yourselves up for a successful
adoption.
Also, before adopting, get as much information as you can
about the child or children you are considering adopting. Meet with counselors,
case workers, teachers, foster parents, anyone who works with the child, knows
the child and is willing to speak candidly about the child. Be willing to ask
the tough questions and willing to hear the answers. Being prepared for
difficult behaviors is the first step to preparing yourself, your family and
your home environment to keep them safe.
#2 Get to the root of
your child’s behavior: As much as you can, keep your emotions out of
situations with your child. They need to know that you are tough enough to
handle anything they have in their past and in their hearts. Adoptive children
often do not feel worthy of love. It does no good to take offense to their
hurtful words or behaviors. Often a belief system or a deep pain can be
uncovered, talked about and addressed head on.
#3 Communicate Effectively:
You will not always agree with case workers or foster parents, but you need to
act as a team on behalf of your child’s best interest. There are many differing
opinions, mindsets, prejudices, biases and belief systems that can create a
great bit of strife but handling it professionally and appropriately can give
you a better feeling than telling someone a piece of your mind and the latter
can destroy the chances of adopting the child or send him packing. Being a case
worker or a foster parent is a very difficult job and they feel the stressors
of it daily.
#4 Easy on material
stuff: Giving your child too much too quickly sends a child the wrong
message and can overwhelm a child. The first few months should be kept simple
for a newly adopted child. Take this time to get to know one another. Whether
you are planning a trip to Disney World or an electronics store, think twice
about the stimulation and overwhelm they might feel.
#5 Realistic
Expectations: Make the new rules simple and clear. Do not expect too much
too quickly. Whether he is a child coming from an orphanage in a third world
country or foster home in the United States, it is not easy to change lifestyles,
expectations, relatives, pets and who they call ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad.’ Allow
transition time and be easy on the punishments or corrections.
#6 Time In: Most
parents are familiar with Time Out. Time In is the opposite and allows the
child to remain by your side rather than be rejected or separated from you. It
gives the parent an opportunity to teach the child what is expected. Enjoy
being with them and don’t be afraid to go back to the basics. Many children
have spent so much time bouncing from home to home, they have never enjoyed the
basics. Keep them close and get to know them.
#7 Educate family and
friends: Family and friends generally have good intentions, but they may
not fully understand the challenges you are facing. Being on the same page will
help support the security of your adoptive child by reducing unintentional
undermining.
#8 Take precautions: Foster
and adoptive children, regardless of their backgrounds, trauma or age, have
experienced unknown abuses and situations within their family unit. Safeguard
your children in ways that help them feel safe as well as yourself and your
family. It may include regular family meetings, a more structured lifestyle,
new rules such as ‘no overnights’ at other people’s houses, or security
cameras.
#9 Routine: We
have regular family meetings to talk about upcoming events, what to expect and
their daily/weekly struggles. We enjoy impromptu outings like any family, but
insecure children thrive on routine and have a need to know what is coming up
for the day.
#10 Trust Your
Instincts: We may not be birds who instinctively know to fly South in the winter,
but we have gut feelings; uneasiness and peace, based on what we feel is the
right thing to do. We cannot always put our finger on it but we feel it. Trust
those instincts and do what you feel is right – this will come into play
adopting and raising the adoptive child.
SUPPORT THOSE WHO ADOPT
It is important to support adoptive parents in their
struggles with adoptive issues such as insecurity, manipulative behaviors and
feelings of loss. It takes a family to raise a child but a village to support
that attempt.
Angie K Elliston
Author of PHOENIX BOUND: An adoptive mom of 13 shares her struggle raising traumatized children.
There are times in our lives as adoptive parents that we feel completely deflated and depleted because of our children’s extreme behaviors. In the past, we have witnessed a small issue become a large issue in our children’s minds, whereby they chose to destroy their lives and future because of it; so….. we get scared. We get scared when we see our child go downhill quickly because ultimately, it’s up to them to turn it around. Most of the time, however, no matter how bad a situation looks in the moment, we can use it as a teaching moment – an opportunity to use as a lesson.
We have raised a couple of ‘opportunists’- children who continuously look for opportunities to do wrong, illegal and/or immoral things. If we lock the medicine cabinet every day, but forget to lock it one morning until noon, the child will have already noticed as if he checks it every minute of every day. If I bring my purse everywhere I go, but choose one day to leave it hidden in my room, the child will know this even if he wasn’t home when I made the decision and money will be taken. In the same way, we can be opportunists. We can be opportunists of good; and as parents, we can be opportunists of life lessons. Our children do not always have the ability to process the world around them and it’s up to us to spell it out for them. They often lack social skills, people skills, and global skills. In short, they need to be taught everything. I remember as a kid doing and saying some dumb things, because I did not know any better. With a traumatized child from a background of abuse and/or neglect, this can be much worse.
Parents don’t always say or do the right thing when under fire. I come from a long line of people who react. I have to continuously fight that tendency, but the greatest lesson I learned from our neighbor with seven children was:
“you will make mistakes but it’s what you do with them that matters.”
Everything can be a teaching moment.
The other day my 10 year old and our foster puppy broke a large window. My son was amazed that I did not get mad. I told him that I was so happy that no one was hurt that I couldn’t get mad. It spoke volumes to him about the value of stuff compared to the value of human life.
We are a Christian family and unapologetically so. We fear our older teenage son is headed for a life behind bars because he enjoys the quick money, the fast life, gangs, and the thrill of stealing. Yesterday I was furious at him for going through my room and taking the cell phones that I did not want him to have. I felt violated and I was furious at his blatant disrespect. I did what many parents would have done, for good or for bad, and I told him that I wanted them returned to me or I would make his life miserable. The next day after school, they were sitting on the table and he told me the entire truth of when and how he stole it. I stood in amazement. He has never told me the truth before, nor did I ever expect to get them both back – and I knew I had no recourse to do so.
A few minutes later, he asked, “Did you pray?” I said, “Yes.” With wide eyes, he said that every time he went to do the wrong thing that day at school, he got a bloody nose. With wider eyes, he said, “I don’t ever get bloody noses but the first time I figured it was just allergies or something but the second time I knew something was up, so I knew I had to return them to you.” I took this opportunity to remind him that I always pray for him and that we truly care about where he is headed. I said, “You didn’t come this far in life to be mediocre, nor did you come this far in life to sit behind bars or live a life of crime – God has so much more for you.”
I thank God now for stressful situations and situations that normally would look hopeless. I plan to use these times as opportunities for a much needed breakthrough. Don’t let sad times, difficult times or crazy times get you down –
Stand up above the flames, peer through the smoke and look for the opportunities!
“You will make mistakes, but it is what you do with them that matters.”
Angie K Elliston and her husband have been married over 20 years. Together they have adopted from the foster care system, adoption disruption, internationally and privately. Their oldest child at adoption placement was 16 and their youngest was a newborn. They are committed to one another and the challenges of adopting children from an array of backgrounds and trauma.
